Lyss.. or That!?

It started when I was three years old. The constant itching, the irritation and redness on my skin that just wouldn’t go away. I wanted to jump into a hot shower to wash away the pain, but a hot shower was off limits. I wore mittens when I slept so I wouldn’t scratch my skin raw. I constantly applied lotion to any area that felt dry to prevent any flare up from happening. Back then I didn’t know what was going on with my skin or why it was happening to me. Little did I know, I was not the only one with this disease. Little did I know, that in 20 years I would meet a community of people who shared the same pain as I do.

Atopic dermatitis is what the dermatologist told me I have, aka: eczema. 22+ years of going to the dermatologist and even with his prescriptions, I am still finding myself searching for something better. There is no cure for eczema but there are remedies to prevent flare ups. I have tried many remedies like the eczema diet which only consists of raw foods. I could barely last a week. You would think for someone who wants to prevent eczema that I would try harder but I want to continue living the way I want too, without having eczema guidelines on the back of my mind. I had a dance scholarship in college, but the constant sweating made my skin dry out even faster, which eventually would irritate my skin causing flare ups on my face and neck; the places I sweated the most. By giving up dance, I gave up a little of me. And when that happened, I knew I had to do something, find another way, connect with people and hopefully find a remedy that would let me live my life without giving up some of my favorite things.

I went on Youtube sometime in 2008 and searched for eczema video blogs. I saw hundreds of blogs; these blogs ranged from doctors preaching the same information to people stating an eczema cure. I heard it all before and decided to use my own voice and my own eczema knowledge to make my own video blog. I did a weekly video blog about lotions I used and sometimes, I included my food diet. To my surprise, I started gaining subscribers and receiving messages from random viewers expressing similar experiences with eczema. In just one year, I had almost 800 subscribers leaving me messages and comments every day on YouTube. It never occurred to me in the beginning that my video blogs would be helping others struggling with eczema and self-esteem issues.

I made it my mission to reply to each and every message I received. I wanted to let my viewers know that they were not alone. I gave them my advice along with the advice from other viewers. Eventually, some subscribers bravely managed to start talking about their eczema themselves on YouTube. This is when it became an eye-opening realization; I realized I was helping a community of people who just needed someone they could relate too. Dermatologists can only give us prescriptions, but being able to relate to someone who knows exactly what you are going through, is something much more powerful than the technical know-how behind the skin disorder.

Even now, I actively video blog about my eczema on regular basis. After discovering the social power that a video blog can muster up, I decided to write the National Eczema Association to tell them about my YouTube experience. They responded right away and told me that they are in the midst of changing their website, but at the same time, they are very interested in my site and feel that I have the potential to become one of their personal voices on their new, upcoming website.

What I accomplished in these last two years is absolutely astounding to me. I hope to inspire many more people and give them the courage to battle their inner skin-demons. There is a community of people looking for that same one voice. And once that voice is heard, there is nothing more empowering than knowing that you are one among many.

To make a long story short, the little bumps on my arms, hands and forearms have spread to my entire body. First the arms, then my legs, to my stomack to the sides of my back. I went to the derm, and they took a bioposy of my mole and another part of my skin. He told me it could either be a severe allergic reaction or I might have skin cancer.

I cried for the at least 4 days straight, but I believe the doctor just had to tell me the worse case scenario just in case it is the case. I have been taking benadryl the past couple days and I have started to see a difference. I am not itching anymore on my legs and the bumpiness is drying out. Everyone says it just looks like I have goosebumps. They are not red and they do not hurt. They just itch occasionally. The bumpiness on my legs has gone away and some parts of my back. The worse part is all over my arms. The doctor said it looked like the rash was where all of my hair follicules were. My neck and face are GOOD, just the regular eczema and no bumpiness! Thank God!

Just when I thought I was catching a break after the shingles attack, this happened.

The only thing that has changed in my life is that I have been working overtime the past 2 1/2 weeks, and they were doing contruction in our building. Maybe it was the chemicals I was exposed too?

I am currently only using Vanicream, Jojoba Oil, and cetaphil as my moisturizers right now. I finally go back to the doctor tomorrow 7/29/09 to get my stitches out and to hopefully get my results.

He said it may take up to 10 days so I might not find out tomorrow.

Le sigh.

New products…

DHS Zinc Shampoo (Helping with scalp situation)
Organic Jojoba Oil (Uh—-MAZING!)
Shea butter, Vanilla Shampoo from Organix (Might return)
Shea butter and Avocado Oil Shampoo from Naked Naturals (Not using until my scalp is ok)
Omega 3 pills (Taken 1 a day)
Dermarest Eczema care (OK? Stops some itching)
Aveeno Conditioner (I like, been only using for a day)

I don’t know what is working because my skin is under control?!

I was having really bad neck, back and facial eczema and for some reason it has COMPLETELY subsided. I am thinking it MIGHT be the Jojoba oil but I am not completely sure.

I take showers once a day, which is before I go to bed. As soon as I get out of the shower I put the Jojoba oil on all over my face, my neck, and my back, and other problem areas. When I woke up the first day, my face was peeling around my mouth. But as soon as I wiped around my mouth area, I noticed my flare up was basically coming off. I think the Jojoba oil dried up my eczema and basically cleared it. Usually waking up with peely skin disappoints me but seriously, as soon as I cleaned up that area and moisturized again, it looked 10x’s better than the day before.

This is day 4 with Jojoba oil and I have NEVER seen my neck so clear before!!!

See, the thing is, it might have been the Giovanni organic shampoo and conditioner products that made my face, neck and back break out. I switched to DHS Zinc shampoo and Aveeno’s new conditioner line. Who knows, it might not even be the Jojoba oil!!

Maybe it is the Omega 3 pills??

See, I really don’t know because I changed EVERYTHING in one day, and all of a sudden my skin is looking better. I don’t remember when my skin looked like this?!??

My back still has some dark patches but it is clearing up. I use the Dermarest as well after the Jojoba oil sinks in. I put it on the back of my neck and on my back. I haven’t itched at night from this!!!

I am really hoping this lasts longer than a week. I am really hoping that I have figured something out.

I have also been running on a daily basis and I have been sweating….but after I feel great. Maybe the endorphins is helping balance something out.

AHHH.

My skin is starting to flare!! So I’m trying to be very careful, but I think my body knows I’m freaking out and it’s making it worse.

I have this gut feeling in my stomach and when I get this feeling my flare ups become worse.

And then I try to not think about that feeling but then it just keeps coming back!!

sigh.

It is Sunday and I am thinking about not going to work tomorrow. My neck is soooo red and patches of eczema are everywhere on my face, arms, back and back of my legs. I don’t know what happened.

During the week, my skin is controllable and then the weekend hits and it goes bizurk by Saturday night or Sunday. I didn’t drink any alcohol this weekend and usually that is what causes my skin to get really nasty.

I know I did not eat the greatest, but usually if I eat well during the week, letting myself have some bad food during the weekend usually doesn’t make my skin go nuts.

On Sunday morning I woke up and it looked like someone bashed both of my eyes and the skin was so swollen that it looked like my eyes were getting sucked into my head.

Has this ever happened to anyone?! I don’t get it.

I need to relax.

I’ll be writing more soon on details.